I Believe God’s testing our faith at times to show us where the cracks are.
I had finally found my way back to the Lord after years of living a sinful life. I was with an amazing man who had made me question myself and why I hated God so much at that time. He 
was the one who had lead me back to Christ. I had loved him more then I have ever allowed myself to love anyone before, and allowed him to love me back. We had lived together and were in the process of talking about marriage plans. He had asked me to be his wife one night and I said yes (we were broke so there were no rings involved so it was never “official”). One day after a long day of work I came home to the one thing that made me happiest and that was him. He had this look on his face and had asked me to sit down. He said we needed to talk. I already knew something was wrong at this point. Finally he got the words out.. ” I no longer love you the same anymore.” Oh what a stab to the heart that was. After a good week or two of hating everything, being to depressed to do anything or talk to anyone, and worst of all being angry at God. I had received a phone call from his mother. She had said something I’d never forget. ” God’s a jealous God and he wants you all to Himself right now. You are new to Him and He wants all of you, not just part of you.” After taking this thought into consideration I realized it was true. I was so selfish, I had put this man first and God second. I hadn’t really even known my Savior at the time, everything I was doing was for this man. I had thought just because I had no longer drank, smoked, did dugs, or lived my past life that I was saved and I knew my Savior. Oh was I wrong! So I had began reading His word to find the answers I was looking for. I strongly believed that He was testing me to see how dedicated I was to Him, and with that He showed me so much more. He had showed me that even though I thought my foundation was strong and solid that the cracks in it had sent the whole thing crashing down. After the big crash I had to wake up to the fact that I needed to give my King all of me. I had shortly after committed to going to AIM to be an intern in the office, to give up a year of my life to truly learn who God was. God had used this whole thing as a way to bring me back and closer to Him to show me where the HUGE cracks where in my relationship with him.
